House of Trump Cards

House of Cards is back. Yay! Since we last left President Frank Underwood there has been a real election. And somebody even worse than Frank has won. Or does he make even The Donald look good? Does Claire? We’ll see. Ready for a binge-fest.

What would be a House of Trump fantasy plot? The Cabinet which consists of generales and consiglieres resigns after Melissa McCarthy announces at her press briefing that Trump is declaring war on Germans who still look like “nah-zees”. Mattis & McMaster mount a military coup. They deport the Donald to Russia to build concrete condos for Putin & Co. Pence joins Church of Scientology and Karen goes missing. The Donald’s current and former wives whose names end in the letter “A” create a pink pussy hat coven. Don Jr. & Eric retreat to a big-game hunt in Africa and are eaten by hyenas. Jared & Ivanka hightail it to Southeast Asia to make cheap shoes. Tiffany heads to law school after she puts covfefe in Barron’s Cocoa Puffs.