The final season of House of Cards is a pathetic celebration of stereotypes. With a little ridiculousness added. Claire Hale Underwood. The first woman President schemes to become Vice President before she inherits the job from a complicit murder of Frank Underwood, her President husband. Then she spars with her bff mean-girl rival born of old prep school jealousies. Random. Lame. Finally. She becomes hormonally psychotic in the Oval Office. Even Hillary seems sane compared to this. Sorry feminists. Claire makes you all look so bad! Sad.
Robin Wright v. Diane Lane. The latter better in The Romanoffs.
House of Cards creator Beau Willimon’s Broadway debut The Parisian Woman falls flat. As edgy as Robin Wright is as Claire Underwood in the Netflix series, Uma Thurman as Chloe in this modern-day play is not. Thurman seems tentative in her portrayal of a supposedly scheming liberal in Trump’s Washington political landscape. Related jokes are few and dated. Characters are generally mis-cast even as the weak writing would test any actor. Blair Brown displays her professional chops and is the only standout.
On the plus side. The Hudson Theater has been brilliantly brought back to its 1903 glory. Hotel conference room sheetrock was torn down to reveal crown moldings and historic detail from Ethel Barrymore’s stage heyday. It reopened last year and is worth the visit.
Okay. It’s all set. Bannon News Network. Now that Bannon’s out of the White House. He’s free to wrangle Breitbart editors he likes plus liberated Fox friends Bill O’Reilly, Bill Shine, Sean Hannity, to form the Alt-CNN communications network. A clear offensive against the Alt-Left, especially the Left Overs in the White House- Gary Cohn, Dina Powell, Ivanka & Jared, General H.R. McMaster. Game on. Old White Men’s Last Stand. Yup. House of Cards will seem tame.
1:08 PM. Frank Underwood Trumped. Can’t make this up. Doddering Don throws his Attorney General under the bus. Threatens Special Counsel. Calls in the New York Times to put it all on the record. Spicey and Melissa McCarthy out. Scaramucci in. Junior donning a flack jacket. ‘JIvanka’ still around. For now. New York contingent rising. Eric smart to stay far away. Tiffany partying in the Hamptons. Barron hiding behind Mommy Melania’s de Schooten skirt.
Everybody waiting for the next Manolo Blahnik to drop.
House of Cards is back. Yay! Since we last left President Frank Underwood there has been a real election. And somebody even worse than Frank has won. Or does he make even The Donald look good? Does Claire? We’ll see. Ready for a binge-fest.
What would be a House of Trump fantasy plot? The Cabinet which consists of generales and consiglieres resigns after Melissa McCarthy announces at her press briefing that Trump is declaring war on Germans who still look like “nah-zees”. Mattis & McMaster mount a military coup. They deport the Donald to Russia to build concrete condos for Putin & Co. Pence joins Church of Scientology and Karen goes missing. The Donald’s current and former wives whose names end in the letter “A” create a pink pussy hat coven. Don Jr. & Eric retreat to a big-game hunt in Africa and are eaten by hyenas. Jared & Ivanka hightail it to Southeast Asia to make cheap shoes. Tiffany heads to law school after she puts covfefe in Barron’s Cocoa Puffs.
Who is in charge? Nikki Haley gives a strong anti-Russia speech at the U.N. Secretary of Defense off to Japan. Secretary of State takes the helm. They all make their own cases in direct opposition to the President’s. Senators call ambassadors to smooth over commander-in-chief’s nasty phone calls to foreign leaders. Generals crash press briefings with macho proclamations to Iran. Trump whisperers lurking in the White House behind curtains all over the place. Nope. Even Frank Underwood couldn’t make this up.