Holiday Letter 2016

Deflated Tidings,

I know you’re all awaiting our upbeat holiday news from winsome Western Massachusetts. Regret to report that we end 2016 in severe post-election shock. An unholy macro-aggression has been perpetrated against our New England progressive pseudo-peace.

Decided to try growing magic mushrooms on our mulch farm. Psilocybin is said to ward off acute TTSD. Zelda’s a zombie, yanking weeds in her purple bathrobe at dawn. Our manboy Moonbeam was last seen buried under Bernie signs in the basement months ago. So. I hang out with Meph the cat in the frontyard pigpen scooping poop for hours on end.

Back in our old burg, Silent H, the Lord Jeffs have been tomahawked. So to speak. And Hampshire College has banned the American flag. Some solace. Still blessed to live in the Happy Valley of safe spaces.

More good news. Cranky next door neighbors moved to NYC. They’ve been replaced by a young couple from L.A. Hope we can coerce these neophytes into cutting down all their sugar Maples for our photovoltaic benefit. Anyway. If you see our crabby former neighbors in the Big Apple, tell them they are missing out on all the fun in the old ‘hood.

Until next year,

The Bidrights
Pronounced H, Massachusetts

(Bidrights Holiday Letters Past- Side Trek Falls Off the Rails)

Worldwide JAM

No. Not Trump Tower & Times Square traffic at Christmastime. Nor gridlock in government. It’s the new global economic reality. Coined in the U.K.  JAM = Just About Managing. Families who are living paycheck to paycheck. Just getting by. At best. Brexit voters and Theresa May. France’s LePen backers. Italian anti-Renzi renegades. Trumpsters in the U.S.A.

It’s the economy all the way. Class stratification across ethnic, political and ideological labels. There were lots of non-white faces at that Carrier plant in Indiana. Get it elite donor class? Leave your safe spaces. Understand the working-class voters. It’s a new day.

Book Treks 2016

2016 Reads. Best: Enter Helen, Brooke Hauser’s Helen Gurley Brown bio; Hillbilly Elegy, J.D. Vance’s timely memoir. The Couple Next Door, by Shari Lapena is a page-turner mystery for a rainy day. Garth Risk Hallberg’s debut novel of seedy ’70’s New York, City on Fire is a bit unevenDelia Ephron’s Siracusa missed the mark, but it’s a quick trip to Sicily. Elena Ferrante and Alice Hoffman’s works disappointing. Carol’s 2016 Full List and Reviews here.

Our newly formed NYC Uptown Book Club picks for 2017 include: The Vanishing Velázquez, Laura Cumming; News of the World, Paulette Jiles; Nutshell, Ian McEwan; The Underground Railroad, Colson Whitehead; Grief is the Thing with Feathers, Max Porter; Everybody’s Fool, Richard Russo; A Gentleman in Moscow, Amor Towles; 32 Yolks, Eric Ripert.

Four Words 2016

Most overused word: Amazing. Still. To describe anything. Everything. If you are lacking in adjectives. There’s probably an app. Use it.

Most politically charged word. Xenophobic. To describe Trump. Trumpistas. Brexits. Nationalists. Polite for racist. Antonym. Globalist. Polite for multi-cultural overcorrection-ist.

Scariest word. Upgrade. As Calvin Trillin says, it strikes horror in us luddites. New software which wreaks havoc with our phones, computers, lives. It’s only a good word when you are supposed to be flying coach. Then it’s amazing.

At least they are words. And not emojis. Or emoticons.

TTSD Air Lift

Booking reservations for Traumatic Trump Stress Disorder (TTSD) sufferers’ charter flights to Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Florida. Get out and help re-count the votes! It will save us sane people from your rantings and angst. And. You will have company in your misery. Who knows? There may even be a miracle! Bye. Bye.

Table Talk Pie

table-talk-720x472Dreading Stuffington Post Drudge. Politics topic. Skip it. Typically topples Thanksgiving tables. How to avoid faces full of pie?

Never speak of the one who must not be named. Talk about cute Kimmie Schmidt. Or being up Schitt’s Creek. Discuss West World theories. Stranger Things. Who is creepier couple. Eleven and Dustin. Or. Maeve and Man in Black. Contemplate Trace Decay. Time travel. Parallel story lines. Divergent pasts. Artificial intelligence. I told you not to mention … that turkey.