Making Assumptions

The candidate casino. $100 in chips today. How’d you bet? $35 Warren. $15 Biden. $10 Harris. $5 Booker. $5 Buttigieg. $5 Woo-Woo Williamson. $25 Somebody Who Can Win.

Scaramouche has had a come-to-Jeezus epiphany about our Petulant Adolescent President. Why? He’s looking to make a buck by convincing Nikki Haley or Mark Sanford to make a primary run at Trump.

FedEx Cup. That end of season golf thing. After an even more convoluted fan-phobic structure this year. Who will win? Who cares?

Mary’s teleportation to Heaven from Earth. No surprise there. She was still a virgin when she gave birth.

Who Are We?

It depends who you ask. Every Democrat candidate for President says this is not Who We Are.  We want to become Who We Are. Trump supporters are not Who We Are. Democrats are Who We Are. Republicans are not Who We Are. Ivy League graduates are Who We Are. Non-college-educated whites are not Who We Are.  People of color are Who We Are. Conservative black people are not Who We Are. Immigrants are more Who We Are. Are All Americans Who We Are? Guess not.

So. Note to candidates. Stop saying it’s Who We Are. Or. It’s not Who We Are. It means nothing. It is not a policy. It does not resonate. It is not a winning message. It’s actually kinda deplorable.

Main Event

Before we go to the Main Event. Take-away from the Undercard. Generationally speaking. Bernie Sanders & Elizabeth Warren had more energy than Joe Biden will likely be able to muster. Electability.

As for tonight’s central contenders. I think they’ll be:

Joe Biden- Seasoned yet yes sleepy
Kamala Harris- Wiley yet phoney
Cory Booker- Empathetic yet pathetic
Julián Castro- Staunch yet obscure
Andrew Yang- Techie yet outré
Kirsten Gillibrand- Feminist and misandrist

Let’s see if they perform true to form.

Under Card

Tonight’s Democrat debate on CNN is considered the lighter-weight bout. With Warren and Sanders at center ring. As the most progressive, they will spar with moderate candidates.  I’d describe the major contenders on the undercard as follows:

Bernie Sanders – Cranky yet consistent
Elizabeth Warren- Breathless yet authentic
Pete Buttigieg- Youthful yet brilliant
Amy Klobuchar- Nervous yet earnest
Beto O’Rourke- Idiocyncratic and erratic

Dénouement

The Russian Collusion Saga never had a climax. So. Today’s Mueller Story just sputtered to a halting end. As did he. A new impeachment plot would have an even weaker epilogue. Dems need to write a best seller starring a superhero who saves America from Trump. Oprah?

Jeopardy’s seasonal swan song this week. And. Who knew. Our former next door neighbor’s book on Chinese History a clue. Imperial Twilight. Hope it doesn’t portend Alex’s dénouement. Godspeed.

Mulled Wine

Will tomorrow’s Mueller testimony pop any corks? Cause a public thirst for impeachment? Or finally dilute the taste for more Congressional hearings? Who knows. But. The Nadler-Schiff label will be served on every TV network. Take a sip every time someone says obstruction.

Speaking of bland blends. Season 2 of Big Little Lies. Except for Kidman v. Streep in the finale. Tours-de-force performance. High end.

Classical Notes

Wimbledon Men’s Final. A riveting rare classy classic. Could have gone either way. Djokovic and Federer beautifully played a 5-set 12-12 tie-breaker. First time in history. Didn’t get to the Park until after three.

Pete Buttigieg on David Axelrod’s great CNN show. It seems they’ve known each other for quite some time. At one point, Axelrod reminded Pete that his piano teacher told him not to just play the notes perfectly, but to make music. Axelrod as campaign maestro.