House of Cards

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Wimp Patrol

The white guys let slimy Comey slither. A snake when he grandstanded to thwart Hillary’s election chances. Now his so-called candor is congratulated as he leaks memos through a friend. It took Senator Dianne to call out Comey for not putting on his big boy pants and stand up to Trump. Why didn’t he say no to The Donald’s invitations? Advise him about proper FBI etiquette? He was either surreptitiously creating a case for obstruction or he’s a political wimp.

Then there are Sessions, Priebus, and Kushner who scurried away, leaving Trump alone with Comey while peeking in through the door. Boo! Retreat. McConnell & Ryan. Saying Donald’s a rookie, doesn’t know the ropes. No heroes here. Milquetoast patrol. We are screwed.

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House of Trump Cards

House of Cards is back. Yay! Since we last left President Frank Underwood there has been a real election. And somebody even worse than Frank has won. Or does he make even The Donald look good? Does Claire? We’ll see. Ready for a binge-fest.

What would be a House of Trump fantasy plot? The Cabinet which consists of generales and consiglieres resigns after Melissa McCarthy announces at her press briefing that Trump is declaring war on Germans who still look like “nah-zees”. Mattis & McMaster mount a military coup. They deport the Donald to Russia to build concrete condos for Putin & Co. Pence joins Church of Scientology and Karen goes missing. The Donald’s current and former wives whose names end in the letter “A” create a pink pussy coif coven. Don Jr. & Eric retreat to a big-game hunt in Africa and are eaten by hyenas. Jared & Ivanka hightail it to Southeast Asia to make cheap shoes. Tiffany heads off to law school after she puts covfefe in Barron’s Cocoa Puffs.

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House of Shards

Who is in charge? Nikki Haley gives a strong anti-Russia speech at the U.N. Secretary of Defense off to Japan. Secretary of State takes the helm. They all make their own cases in direct opposition to the President’s. Senators call ambassadors to smooth over commander-in-chief’s nasty phone calls to foreign leaders. Generals crash press briefings with macho proclamations to Iran. Trump whisperers lurking in the White House behind curtains all over the place. Nope. Even Frank Underwood couldn’t make this up.

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House of F.U.

President F.U. is back. So is Claire. House of Cards. Season 4. Shockers galore. Pretty good through 7 episodes. Then. Writers took a vacation at the end. Out-of-character risks. Gratuitous contrivances. Creepy breakfast twist. Melodramatic Homeland ripoff. Fear is good.

Be very afraid, Frank. Get a food taster if you win. Veepy wife-in-waiting. President C.U.

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Trump L’œil

Trick of the eye. Chicanery. Snake oil anyone? His followers rally. Media and Republicans dally. Hillary is the only one who can reveal this Trump l’œil. Will she?

House of Cards 4. Frank Underwood. Makes Trump look like a saint. Or. Maybe not. Nancy Reagan could have given Claire a run for her money. Will fiction become fact?

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Jokers Wild

House of Cards script could not compete with last night’s political theatrics. The Trump Jet rolls onto the Des Moines tarmac with media frenzy and flashing bulbs. Long lines queue up around a small auditorium to await his arrival. Adele’s hits blaring through the hall. Across town, Cruz and Rubio snark at each other and Chris Wallace. Megyn Kelly holds court with a montage of each frontrunner’s flip flopping clips. A brutal hit job on both. Dulce Candy affords Jeb sweet revenge. But, too little too late?

Donald hugs it out with Huckabee and Santorum who won Iowa in past caucuses. Should he have gone to the debate? Of course not. It was his Frank Underwood (F.U.) moment. Could this get anymore fun? Bon weekend.

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Payback’s a Bitch

We are embarking on the doldrums of the holidays. I mean. Yay. Merry Christmas. Before we delve into Santa and elves, one last political glimpse.

Dateline: Washington, D.C. 2011. White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Seth Meyers Host. He and Obama trash Trump’s birther conspiracy theory. Obama born in Kenya. Show him the long form birth certificate and such. Everyone ridiculed the Donald that evening. He and Melania left in a public snit. Cameras followed them out of the ballroom. Scowls. Sneers. No wit.

Dateline: Las Vegas, NV. 2015. Center stage at the fifth Republican debate. Clearly and consistently leading presidential polls for over six months. Who would have thought? Never count El Trumpo out. Kinda like Frank Underwood. F.U.