Kristmas Krackers

IMG_1398Is that a lightsaber? No. It’s this season’s hit. The selfie stick. On the porch. Kraklin’ fire. On Kristmas Eve no less. Sixty degrees. We’ll take it!

Cuzins took over Colitti Christmas this year. They devised a new tradition of giving gifts to each other and dubbed it “Secret Grandma.” Conjuring re-imagined treasures from her cellar, a new era of mirth, heart and soul. From Jamison to Jake. A legacy worthy of its creator. IMG_8044IMG_8040

 

Kranky Kristmas 4

Delta Barcelona-JFK. Ceiling falls on lady’s head. Media screen broken. Wires dangling. 7-hour flight. Amtrak NY- Springfield. 40 minutes late. Nicked exciting end of Niners’ last game at the “stick”. They win. Yay.

Kristmas Eve lobster at JeanJean’s. Cuzins playing and singing. Priceless. IMG_0854

If you want to laugh out loud, read Delia Ephron’s A Christmas Manners Quiz. Happy Kristmas to all and to all a good night!

AmaZone

L Tryptophan lingering. It’s December? People are already putting up trees. Lights lining houses. Wreaths on doors. Hanukkah is over. Christmas shopping? Everyone is abuzz about Bezos’ drone delivery idea. NYTimes‘ Dowd says it’s faster to go to the store. I disagree. But, that’s always been me. A woman loathe to shop. Maybe it comes from years of working in Dad’s retail.

Here’s the thing. Called local bookstore for a particular title. Woman said computer down, call back. Did. Didn’t have it, could get it in 4 days. Amazon 2 days, cheaper. Same with clothes. Go to Brooks Brothers et al.  Lousy selection of inventory. Out of your size. Go online. Get your size, color, style. Hits your door in a week. Don’t like it? Free shipping back. No surly sales people, mall rats.

Bye bye bricks and mortar. Who needs headaches and overhead?

Primo Kristmas

Lacey powder. A whitish blanket covering grass and roof. Kristmas krackers were particularly laden this year. Colitti confetti everywhere. Cuzins cuter than ever. Wasn’t last Kristmas a minute ago? Happy and Merry to all!

DSC_0238%20-%20Version%202Los primos felices de 2012.

Kristmas Eves

Lots of eves. Long Kristmas weekend. Sinatra helps us trim the post-modern plastic tree. Ornaments. Each has a history. Anne’s Santa, Pear, Penguin. Sylvia’s antiques from Surrey, England. Grandma’s aqua MadMen-era. Joe’s Beefeater gin. Bells, angels, crystal icicles. Fillamento SanFrancisco FatherKristmas topper. Joyful art of gift wrap. It’s all about the packaging.

Traditions are comforting. Lobster Newburg. Who does that anymore? Dates back decades. Pats, Niners. Palate cleansers. Cathy’s cannoli and crackers. Paper crowns and Colitti Confetti. They still rhyme in our world.

Kranky Kristmas 3 – OrnaMental

First things, first. Happy Something-Zero to Anne, dearest friend for 35 years!

When we last left you, Ben was cluelessly chatting with Pete Hamill in the Village, while Dr.Husband was being attacked by the evil tree that poked his eye out and ruined the house. Eye and house restored. Tree tossed in woods in broken stand. GodsonJame got holy water at St.Cecilia’s Mass with Grandma. Sprinkled on evil tree to exorcise demons. Dr.Husband shook head, no, still bad. WalMart. Plastic. No water. No needles. Dr.Husband happy, singing Hallelujah chorus. His wish came true after all these years. Sorry, Ben.

Kranky Kristmas 2 – TannenBomb

And so it begins. Saturday. Picked out, paid for a very big tree. Son Ben wants a big tree. Dr. Husband hates Kristmas Trees. Really hates big trees. More with every passing year. This year especially, since Ben taking exams at NYU. Not here to help. Bad.

Sunday. Dr. Husband gets home late after picking up tree and tying on top of car. Bad. Not happy. Long weekend of hospital rounding. Lots of  ‘Jesus’ and ‘Maria’ Christmas babies born a week early. Very tired. Very bad.

Puts big wide-trunk tree in stand. Watered. Good. Okay. Comes downstairs to finally relax in hot tub. Good. Oh no. Tree tilts. Goes down. Pokes Dr. Husband in the eye. Hurts. Bad. Big mess. Boehner-esque melt-down. “Tree is evil. Christians’ revenge. Wrecking our house. Water all over the floor. Needles everywhere.” Very very bad. Poor Dr. Husband.

Cleans up mess. Tosses tree and broken stand out the door. Sad.

Kranky Kristmas

Holly, jolly. Not so much this year. Everyone seems to be in a kranky mood. It’s not unusual for the holidays, stress abounds. Uncertain economy, lousy job market, transitioning college kids, major moves, aging parents, aging us. Makes this season scroogier than usual. Don’t even put on the news. Adults in short supply, Congress still scrapping in its sandbox.

Prospect of Jake’s first Christmas with cuzins brightens the spirit. Singing at OldBaldGuy’s piano with an egg nog will add more needed cheer. For all its faults, family is tradition and hope. So, we’ll light the dysfunctional candle, suck it up and in the end make the best of the next two weeks. It may even be fun! Hmmm. I’ll let you know.