End Games

Grading the debate.

Kristen Welker A+
Joe Biden D-
Donald Trump C+

Trump gets points for kind of behaving. He didn’t bring a Hunter poster, but he did bring Bobulinski. Nobody wanted to comment on Biden’s clear senility. Welker was a model moderator.

Now that the last debate is done. What’s left? Still plenty of time for hijinks. Every day seems like a year. If Biden does win, it will be a “dark winter” for the media. What in the hell will they talk about?

Donald’s Last Stand?

Petulant Adolescent President v. Hiden Biden. The final debate in the 2020 Presidential election.

Will Donald shout over the mute button? Complain about Kristen Welker, the moderator’s sanguinity? Bring along props such as life-sized cardboard posters of Hunter & Hillary? Invite Gary Busey and Kanye West to sit in the front row? Superimpose the nodding lady behind his head? Dance to YMCA?

Joe just has to show up and stay awake-ish. And. He wins.

Mike Smirk v. Kamala Sneer

Susan Page was a formidable and competent moderator of the Veep Debate. Great questions. Well structured. Pence was as advertised. Low-key stingers. Harris had her prosecutorial cadence on display. Each with creepy resting bitch faces. Neither scored big. Okay. Maybe the fly.

Who could be commander-in-chief? It’s a toss-up.

Heartbeat Debate

USA Tdoay’s Susan Page is moderating the most important debate. Kamala Harris or Mike Pence could easily soon be Prez. A heartbeat away is real in this election.

Pence will be earnest and polite with silent but deadly arrows flung at Ka Mah La, which he’ll pronounce just that way. He’ll gaze lovingly at Karen his wife and genuflect every time he says Trump’s name.

Harris will string clichés together like It’s Not Who We Are or We Are Better Than This. Her barbs and zingers against Trump will be canned. Beau must be mentioned at least once. And. She’ll of course giggle.

So yay. Can’t wait. Zzzzzzzzzzz.

Clear Air

Rain cleaned out the humidity. Fresh breezes.

Comey himself is testifying to the Senate today about the Steele dossier. While Jeff Daniels is on all media promoting the HBO Show. Amy Coney Barrett meeting with only Republicans before her SCOTUS hearing.

Kelly Ripa of all people had the best solution for a coherent debate. She suggested on her show this morning that they should be virtual with the moderator employing the mute button. Don’t rely on her book advice, though. Mexican Gothic was awful.

No surprise. NYTimes columnists said Biden won the debate. Because he wasn’t Trump.

Take Da Bait

Trump was less hot than liberal pundits’ hair on fire. Joe was vertical and completed a few sentences. Both sides claim victory.

Clearly the Biden-Trump debate was all things to all people. Or no one.

Will there be another? We’ll see.

P.S. Who are the fact-checkers? And. Who fact checks them?

Don Ho v. Slow Joe

First debate. Cheesy Hawaiian lounge singer who sang Tiny Bubbles. Sound close? Vs. Sleepy hair-smelling Joe. Whoa. Retro smackdown. Well. Okay. More like the Dirty Old Men Show.

What’s the over-under on one of them melting down beyond repair? Honestly do not know. Cannot predict this one.

Take a swig whenever you hear: C’mon man. No joke. Folks. Hunter. Beau. Fake news. Best ever record in the history of the universe.

Game on. Must-see TV.

Joe-mentum

Biden won big in the South Carolina primary. As media foments coronavirus panic-demic to trash Trump, it is resonating more than Russia or Ukraine-gate. If markets continue to tank and there’s a recession before the election, this could take him down.

It won’t be Joe and his energy & charisma. He looks pretty sleepy on Sunday shows. Hillary-esque. Bernie at least fills arenas. Even if Mayor Mike does well on Super Tuesday, we’re left with all old white guys. SAD.

mAd prediction. Biden-Klobuchar. Yawn.

(Joe-mentum coined during Joe Leiberman presidential campaign)

Bloomin’ Mess

Last night’s Dem Debate was an unmitigated unmoderated mess.

Nobody knocked Bernie out. He was rattled, but stood tall. Lizzie got her long-awaited revenge against Mayor Mike for backing her rival Scott Brown in the Massachusetts Senate race. Mike himself went from an F to a D- .  Bloom is off that rose. The rest of the field cross-talked and yelled a lot. Pundits are saying it was Biden’s best night. If that was a best night, Trump’s got it made in the shade.

Frank Bruni NYTimes Pick.