2018 Takeaways

Masculinity is toxic. Misandry is hot. #MeToo has caused men to wear straightjackets to work.

Michael Avenatti & Deval Patrick won’t be running for Dem Prez. Everyone else will. Only liberal women of color should be nominated for or elected to anything.

Never speak the name of our current Prez.

College kids are offended by everyone. They need comfort pets in their dorms. And. Marijuana. But. No peanuts or cigarettes. After graduation, can’t get a job. Cuz they can only talk to screens in safe spaces. Stoned. Hugging iguanas.

No more costumes at Halloween. Upsets groups. Santa abuses his reindeer. And his little elves, too. Probably Mrs. Claus. Hannukah overlaps with Kwaanza. So. Forget holiday celebrations.

Can’t bring home the bacon anymore. Only broccoli.