Hit Pieces

Who is out to get Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar? Right before she announces her Presidential run. Snow flake staff say she was too tough on them. But. Who leaked the report to HuffPost? Let the games begin.

#MeToo? No. #TrumpToo. Presidential harassment. That’s what we’ll hear. For the next 2 years.

Recently had brunch at Café Luxembourg. A noisy crowded UWS staple. Kate Walsh said she used to waitress there and it was so bad during brunch she got fired for rolling her eyes. Don’t blame her.

Velvet Buzzsaw. Goofy gory spoof of the corrupt Art World. Jake Gyllenhaal zany as you’ve never seen him before.

David Pecker outing Jeff Bezos’.

Tara Westover’s family hit piece, Educated.

Bruce Spruce

To boost your holiday spirit. Springsteen. On Netflix. Don’t expect a concert. It’s an acting tour de force and a gut-wrenching yet sweet memoir. It conjures forgotten times and places. Bruce’s tunes are indeed interspersed. But. It’s the poetry. The writing. The lyrics that make this performance stand alone. Baudelaire would be hard-pressed to express love better. Romantics like Blake or Wordsworth could’t wrap their verses so poignantly around a lost neighborhood tree. Catholicism. Parent-child connections. Themes that run deep in his soul.

And in other seasonal tidings. Tavern on the Green Spruce. 

2018 Wish List Missed

My 2018 Wish List. Predilections. Didn’t get a lot.

Luann de Lesseps & Harvey Weinstein hookup in rehab. Not that I know.
Melania on Dancing With the Stars. Nope.
Jon Stewart replaces Colbert. Too bad not.
Sam will reunite with real Jason. Almost.
Tim Ryan not Paul Ryan will replace Pelosi as Speaker. Kinda sorta but not.
Tiger wins another major. He did not.
Patriots will not win the Super Bowl. Ding. Ding. Ding.
Tops will no longer have shoulder holes. Unfortunately they still do.
Pets will develop allergies to humans. No. But they were attacked by raccoons in Central Park.
Alexa will do the dishes. No. And we had to put her in the cabinet. She was spying on us.

2018 Takeaways

Masculinity is toxic. Misandry is hot. #MeToo has caused men to wear straightjackets to work.

Michael Avenatti & Deval Patrick won’t be running for Dem Prez. Everyone else will. Only liberal women of color should be nominated for or elected to anything.

Never speak the name of our current Prez.

College kids are offended by everyone. They need comfort pets in their dorms. And. Marijuana. But. No peanuts or cigarettes. After graduation, can’t get a job. Cuz they can only talk to screens in safe spaces. Stoned. Hugging iguanas.

No more costumes at Halloween. Upsets groups. Santa abuses his reindeer. And his little elves, too. Probably Mrs. Claus. Hannukah overlaps with Kwaanza. So. Forget holiday celebrations.

Can’t bring home the bacon anymore. Only broccoli.

Talk Like an Egyptian

What happened to words? Remember those? The beauty of prose and poetry in every language. The art of a paragraph. The craft of a narrative. A descriptive dialogue.

Nuance and entendres lost forever to emojis. Regressing to the hieroglyphics of ancient Egypt. Lazy. Silly. Sad.