Twelve twirling dog-poop bags.
Eleven grinding garbage trucks.
Ten horns a honking.
Nine tourists searching for Strawberry Fields.
Eight nannies yacking on cell phones.
Seven kamikaze skateboarders.
Six clueless Citi-Bikers.
Five gritty horse-drawn carriage drivers.
Four scamming pedi-cabs.
Three rats a running.
Two turtles sunning.
And a pigeon under a ginko biloba tree.
Trick or Treat meets Merry Christmas. Yup. Pumpkins, cobwebs, cheap kandy korn and kit kats. On the shelf right next to the garland, tinsel, ornaments and mistletoe. Halloween has now morphed into Happy Holidays. From September through December. Santa on GMA wearing a ghost costume. His elves dressed as comic book heroes. Rudolph’s red nose clown suit. Tannenbaums with dangling skeletons. It’s retail silly season all the time.
No wonder Orange Man from 30 Rock is our President.
‘Twas the night before Christmas. Family yuletide cheer. And the first night of Hannukah. Despite dysfunctional family candle. Cashews rule.
Newburg on patty shells replaced with butter pasta but lobster still. In the City. Recipe here.
Which’d you rather?
Spiked egg nog or faux champagne.
Lobster Newburg or a burger.
Gift cards or re-gifts.
Multi-color or all white lights.
Nutcracker or cracked nuts.
Trump tweets or Hillary whine.
Menorah candles or melted gelt.
Jersey Boys or Rockettes.
Rock Center or Smugglers Notch.
Or just scotch on the rocks.
Kitty kreamer or Chia pet. Or. Hatchimal.
Kathy & Anderson or Ryan & Jenny.
Is that a lightsaber? No. It’s this season’s hit. The selfie stick. On the porch. Kraklin’ fire. On Kristmas Eve no less. Sixty degrees. We’ll take it!
Cuzins took over Colitti Christmas this year. They devised a new tradition of giving gifts to each other and dubbed it “Secret Grandma.” Conjuring re-imagined treasures from her cellar, a new era of mirth, heart and soul. From Jamison to Jake. A legacy worthy of its creator.
Delta Barcelona-JFK. Ceiling falls on lady’s head. Media screen broken. Wires dangling. 7-hour flight. Amtrak NY- Springfield. 40 minutes late. Nicked exciting end of Niners’ last game at the “stick”. They win. Yay.
Kristmas Eve lobster at JeanJean’s. Cuzins playing and singing. Priceless.
If you want to laugh out loud, read Delia Ephron’s A Christmas Manners Quiz. Happy Kristmas to all and to all a good night!
Lacey powder. A whitish blanket covering grass and roof. Kristmas krackers were particularly laden this year. Colitti confetti everywhere. Cuzins cuter than ever. Wasn’t last Kristmas a minute ago? Happy and Merry to all!
Los primos felices de 2012.