Down Treks 2017

Trump
Petulant Adolescent President
TTSD (Traumatic Trump Stress Disorder) worsens

Investigations
Comey’s covert agenda
Media overreach
Russia obsession

Democrats
Shallow bench
Lack of message

Sexual Perps
Reining men
Politicizing harassment

Weather
Snowflakes against free speech
Hurricanes & Fires

Television
Twin Peaks redux sucked

Sports
NFL violence cripples players & loses fans

Covfefe
Pets overrunning public places

Twelve Days of Central Park Christmas

Twelve twirling dog-poop bags.
Eleven grinding garbage trucks.
Ten horns a honking.

 

Nine tourists searching for Strawberry Fields.
Eight nannies yacking on cell phones.
Seven kamikaze skateboarders.
Six clueless Citi-Bikers.
Five gritty horse-drawn carriage drivers.
Four scamming pedi-cabs.
Three rats a running.
Two turtles sunning.
And a pigeon under a ginko biloba tree.

Yuletide Tricks

Trick or Treat meets Merry Christmas. Yup. Pumpkins, cobwebs, cheap kandy korn and kit kats. On the shelf right next to the garland, tinsel, ornaments and mistletoe. Halloween has now morphed into Happy Holidays. From September through December. Santa on GMA wearing a ghost costume. His elves dressed as comic book heroes. Rudolph’s red nose clown suit. Tannenbaums with dangling skeletons. It’s retail silly season all the time.

No wonder Orange Man from 30 Rock is our President.

Holiday Dilemma

Which’d you rather?

Spiked egg nog or faux champagne.
Lobster Newburg or a burger.
Gift cards or re-gifts.
Multi-color or all white lights.
Nutcracker or cracked nuts.
Trump tweets or Hillary whine.
Menorah candles or melted gelt.
Jersey Boys or Rockettes.
Rock Center or Smugglers Notch.
Or just scotch on the rocks.
Kitty kreamer or Chia pet. Or. Hatchimal.
Kathy & Anderson or Ryan & Jenny.