2018 Wish List Missed

My 2018 Wish List. Predilections. Didn’t get a lot.

Luann de Lesseps & Harvey Weinstein hookup in rehab. Not that I know.
Melania on Dancing With the Stars. Nope.
Jon Stewart replaces Colbert. Too bad not.
Sam will reunite with real Jason. Almost.
Tim Ryan not Paul Ryan will replace Pelosi as Speaker. Kinda sorta but not.
Tiger wins another major. He did not.
Patriots will not win the Super Bowl. Ding. Ding. Ding.
Tops will no longer have shoulder holes. Unfortunately they still do.
Pets will develop allergies to humans. No. But they were attacked by raccoons in Central Park.
Alexa will do the dishes. No. And we had to put her in the cabinet. She was spying on us.

2018 Report Card

December 2017 made these predictions for 2018. How’d I do?

Trump will tweet a lot  A+
Cable News and NYTimes will freak out about it daily A+
So will certain family and friends A+
TTSD antidote will be mid-term elections  C+
Societal polarization will vertically widen  B
Garbage trucks will wake us up B+    (getting used to them)
Streaming services will shutter movie theaters  C-  (most still open)
Online shopping will render the end of malls   B-   (some still open)
There will be a military action in North Korea   F  (Rocket Man bromance)

2019 Predictions & Predilections

Predictions

The obvious. Women will march. Bernie will run. So will Biden. Trump will tweet. The media will go nuts every time he does. Lots of people will get shot by guns. Okay. Now for the harder stuff.

All-LA LA Super Bowl – Rams beat Chargers
Tiger wins a major
House gets set to impeach
Trump mounts foreign military action to wag the dog
2 more Supremes get replaced


Predilections

Laura Benanti and Melania both go on Dancing With the Stars
Ronan Farrow is caught canoodling with Kevin Spacey
Fired Generals storm the White House with armies and tanks
Jared and Ivanka hightail it to Saudi Arabia
Kimberly Guilfoyle goes missing on a big game hunt with Donny Jr.
Senate coots all keel over during a confirmation hearing
Cory Booker is cast in new movie asĀ Spartacus
Elizabeth Warren v. Kamala Harris cage fight on the Senate floor
Hillary takes on the winner
Nancy Pelosi hits herself on the head with the gavel
Jeffrey Toobin & Chris Cuomo get #MeToo’d
Joe Scarborough leaves Mika for Katty Kay
Ray Donovan fixes Michael Cohen
Yankees have a great season

2018 Takeaways

Masculinity is toxic. Misandry is hot. #MeToo has caused men to wear straightjackets to work.

Michael Avenatti & Deval Patrick won’t be running for Dem Prez. Everyone else will. Only liberal women of color should be nominated for or elected to anything.

Never speak the name of our current Prez.

College kids are offended by everyone. They need comfort pets in their dorms. And. Marijuana. But. No peanuts or cigarettes. After graduation, can’t get a job. Cuz they can only talk to screens in safe spaces. Stoned. Hugging iguanas.

No more costumes at Halloween. Upsets groups. Santa abuses his reindeer. And his little elves, too. Probably Mrs. Claus. Hannukah overlaps with Kwaanza. So. Forget holiday celebrations.

Can’t bring home the bacon anymore. Only broccoli.

Around Again

The celebration of President 41, George H.W. Bush’s life revealed a man who was a bright point of light. As Alan Simpson said in the line of the day, “Those who travel the high road of humility in Washington, D.C. are not bothered by heavy traffic.”

The Presidents and First Ladies sitting in the front pew of the National Cathedral sure didn’t seem to want to be with each other and looked as dreary as today’s political climate.

Golden Globe 2019 nominations reflect a great year of television creations. Sharp Objects. Killing Eve. Barry. A Very English Scandal. Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. All favorites in our house. Where are The Romanoffs? Best of the lot. Each episode a unique beautifully woven tapestry. And. Ray.

Teddy Talk

Michelle Obama is criticizing Sheryl Sandburg’s TED talks which advised women to “lean in” at work to get ahead. The former First Lady does not believe it’s appropriate to put the burden on individual women rather than change corporate policies. I’m somewhat in the Sandburg camp. Performance is key. Yet. Can’t have it all at the same time. Agree.

In that regard, Bloomberg study proves my fear that a #MeToo backlash would be swift and severe. Men are now afraid to be alone with women in and out of the workplace. That will mean more segregation and less opportunities for women to be where business is often conducted. And. Now more than ever important to keep teddies hidden and only wear professional attire.

Speaking of Teddy Ruxpin redux. That old animatronic talking bear is making a resurgence this Christmas. Its ignominious financial collapse was the stuffing of the 1987 market crash.

Never forget that deal or that day.

Facts Are Fungible

The Lifespan of a Fact. Daniel Radcliffe. Cherry Jones. Bobby Cannavale. Studio 54 Theater. Yes. That same old disco venue. Clever staging. The takeaway from the play. Facts are not truth. Yet truth needs some facts. Writing was the star. The ensemble inimitable. Without them. No reason to go. Radcliffe supplied the crucial electric current. Jones the cerebral publishing glue. Cannavale the stalwart artist. Called a farce. Disagree. A witty composition on the vagaries of life. Without going down trite emotional trails. Consistently true to the conceit. Great.

And. Not once did Harry Potter occur.