Field of Play

NFL Conference Playoffs set. Youth be served. Mahomes at 22 and McVay at 32. Yet. The experience of Belichick and Brady and their arsenal cannot be denied. The Pats look as sharp as they’ve ever been.

Ray Donovan’s season finale took on a grisly Fargo-esque end. Chainsaws and shovels were involved. Bridget earned her place in the family. Vengeances dealt. Rule of play. Never mess with Ray’s kids.

William Barr takes questions in his confirmation hearing to become AG in a most crucial time. He seems a perfect QB for the DOJ of today.

And They’re Off

Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris, Tulsi Gabbard. Julián Castro today from San Antonio. Probably Bernie and Joe. Cory and Amy. The 2020 campaign has begun. Something to talk about. Besides. Him.

Playoff Cowboys v. Rams will decide if my All Los Angeles Super Bowl prediction holds. Of course, it seems highly unlikely that Chargers can hold off the Pats at home anyway. So.

Less Luster

NFL Wild Card games lackluster. None of the teams seemed well coached or strong enough to make it to the Super Bowl. Silly rules changes and officiating. More wounded warriors.

The Golden Globes were duller than ever. Sandra and Andy no chemistry and the snow flakes wouldn’t let them tell any funny jokes. Women’s skin all out there. Don’t look, though! They’ll sue you. Hypocrisy of Hollywood knows no bounds. However. It was a good night for Levine’s.

Gary Levine, head of Showtime programming and Chuck Lorre (aka Levine). Why did Chuck change his name from Levine to Lorre?

The reason I changed my name was simple. My mother, never a fan of my father’s family, had an unfortunate habit of using Levine as a stinging insult. When displeased with me, she would often say/shriek, “You know what you are? You’re a Levine! A no good, rotten Levine!”

But. Then he realized that in England he’d become Chuck Truck.

2019 Predictions & Predilections

Predictions

The obvious. Women will march. Bernie will run. So will Biden. Trump will tweet. The media will go nuts every time he does. Lots of people will get shot by guns. Okay. Now for the harder stuff.

All-LA LA Super Bowl – Rams beat Chargers
Tiger wins a major
House gets set to impeach
Trump mounts foreign military action to wag the dog
2 more Supremes get replaced


Predilections

Laura Benanti and Melania both go on Dancing With the Stars
Ronan Farrow is caught canoodling with Kevin Spacey
Fired Generals storm the White House with armies and tanks
Jared and Ivanka hightail it to Saudi Arabia
Kimberly Guilfoyle goes missing on a big game hunt with Donny Jr.
Senate coots all keel over during a confirmation hearing
Cory Booker is cast in new movie as Spartacus
Elizabeth Warren v. Kamala Harris cage fight on the Senate floor
Hillary takes on the winner
Nancy Pelosi hits herself on the head with the gavel
Jeffrey Toobin & Chris Cuomo get #MeToo’d
Joe Scarborough leaves Mika for Katty Kay
Ray Donovan fixes Michael Cohen
Yankees have a great season

Gross Golf Match

Tiger v. Phippy. Las Vegas. Snorting, sniffing, heavy breathing caddy disgusting. Nobody told them to turn off his mike? That would have been the most smack the talk got. Neither Woods nor Mickelson had the personality ever or the talent anymore to make the post-Thanksgiving pay-per-view event slightly compelling. Bad golf. Loud snot. Boring coverage. All for $19.95. Unless you got it for free on the Bleacher Report website. Please let it be over soon!

Welcome to the IRL

Injured Reserve List (IRL) has replaced the NFL. Washington Redskins’ QB Alex Smith. Another on the long bench of fractured players. Fox Sunday’s Jay Glazer devotes an entire segment to the gory banged-up details of who can’t start each week. It’s longer than Rob Riggle’s comedic picks.

Condoleezza Rice is up to coach the Cleveland Browns. She should be Commish. For a new equation. Less Mass X Speed = Fewer Broken Bodies.

Something’s gotta give. Besides ligaments and bones.