Trump Abruptly Resigns!

TTSD is over! No more Trump! Sorry. April Fool’s.

What is true is that Mayor Pete raised over $7m in the first quarter. You’re welcome. And. Michigan State really did beat Duke. I Am Not Charlotte Simmons. And. Texas Tech also made it to the Final Four. And. It’s a bright sunny Spring day. So Yay.

Weekend Traffic

So it begins. Spring road closures. Gates and tents all over Central Park. St. Patrick’s Day Parade today on Fifth. Half marathon on Sunday.

As usual, lots of talking going on while actual golf is being played somewhere in the background at The Players in Florida. Can Tiger stay on the Island?  Brexit brothers Rory and Tommy lead the pack.

And. Trump will run over Beto the Manic Bozo as easily as Johnny & Moira Rose ran over that cat on Schitt’s Creek.

Boroughs Boys

A fight for the working class has emerged with dueling barn-burners yesterday. Trump v. Bernie. Queens v. Brooklyn. FOX v. MSNBC & CNN. Both targeting class rather than party affiliation. This will be the most clear cut battle in the 2020 campaign. On the same rural lawn.

– Hatfield, Massachusetts 2016

Meanwhile best SNL in a long time. Hader with the see-through white Jim Jordan shirt spot on. Stiller as Cohen New York perfection. John Mulaney funny and smart. Well done fun.

Tip of the Weisselberg

Credit to Dr. Husband

Michael Cohen’s testimony did some serious damage to Trump. But. Given the many references to The Donald’s 40-year CFO, Allen Weisselberg, who has limited immunity, that’s where the danger lies. Follow the money. Not in Russia. In New York.

Meanwhile, the bromance seems broken between Donny & North Korea’s Kim. And. Most chilling. India and Pakistan tensions are taut.

Hit Pieces

Who is out to get Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar? Right before she announces her Presidential run. Snow flake staff say she was too tough on them. But. Who leaked the report to HuffPost? Let the games begin.

#MeToo? No. #TrumpToo. Presidential harassment. That’s what we’ll hear. For the next 2 years.

Recently had brunch at Café Luxembourg. A noisy crowded UWS staple. Kate Walsh said she used to waitress there and it was so bad during brunch she got fired for rolling her eyes. Don’t blame her.

Velvet Buzzsaw. Goofy gory spoof of the corrupt Art World. Jake Gyllenhaal zany as you’ve never seen him before.

David Pecker outing Jeff Bezos’.

Tara Westover’s family hit piece, Educated.

SOTU Preview

Trump will walk in and hope people shake his hand. He’ll smile like he’s a rock star anyway. He’ll have victims of crimes by illegal immigrants sitting with Melania who will wear something gorgeously controversial.

Pelosi will make faces like she’s sucking lemons. Pence will look at the President the way Nancy Reagan looked at Ronnie.  Some Dems will stage a scene. Trump will say something predictably petulantly adolescently unprecedential. Take a chug every time he snorts or says border security or work together or best ever.

Who Wrote It?

Who wrote the anonymous NYT op-ed? Insider Trump Resistance?

Guess #1. Kirstejn Nielson. Homeland Security. Guess #2. Nick Ayers, Pence Chief of Staff. Guess #3. Melania Trump’s hairdresser.