Holiday Letter 2017

Dear Friends of the Bidrights,

This holiday season brings unsettling tidings. We regret to inform you of a shocking story in last week’s Daily Hampshire Gay-Zette:

” The Bidrights of Pronounced H, Massachusetts suddenly and spontaneously combusted last Sunday night. So too their newly erected blue-gray photovoltaic home, two pure-bred pigs, and an elderly cat, known as Mephistopheles. Poof!  Nothing found except a toppled clothesline with sadly tattered granny underpants, an electric blue Prius covered in taupe dust, crocs and garden tools strewn around a former frontyard poop-pen, plastic rain barrels rolled into the street. “

Theories abound. Many believe that they were abducted by aliens. But. Neighbors are convinced that there is another culprit. The Bidrights were overwhelmed by their half-acre of endless chips. Yup. All that mulch swallowed them up. Into the brown Upside Down!

Only the Bidrights’ thirty-something son Moonbeam seems to have escaped. He reportedly emerged from under a pile of old Bernie signs in the basement some time ago, lately spotted at his alma mater Middlebury College, protesting free speech.

It goes without saying that we will miss the Bidrights’ annual updates. Ah well. Godspeed to the disappeared dorks. Wherever they landed. As long as they don’t pop up in Central Park.

 

Alas. The last of the Happy Valley Holiday Letters.  Maybe…

The Upside Down

9 hours of Stranger Things. An allegorical sci-fi thriller with an exorcism thrown in. Kids are good actors. Weekend diversion. Another season assured. Follow the Three Musketeers wrapper to Dustin’s buddy d’Artagnan crashing an upside down Snow Ball dance. Now-memories.

Downside up. As discussed, the #MeToo movement may have unintended consequences. Sheryl Sandberg agrees. Men may eschew women in the workplace. Dating done?

Upside. Claire Underwood lives! House of Cards continues. Frank killed off?!
And. Christiane Amanpour. Replacing Charlie Rose on PBS.

Holiday photo by G. Levine:   Shelburne Centre, Western Massachusetts. 

U.S. Broken

Two flawed presidential candidates. Commander-in-Chief forum on the Intrepid. Should be Trepidation. Stranger Things? That’s a crazy Netflix show. 80’s spoofy scary comedy. Okay. Better than the election.

Over in Flushing Meadows. Is there any more boring U.S. Open ever? Lame. Literally. Defaults. Walkovers. Johnny Mac is apoplectic. So are we. Pouille.

Go Garoppolo! No.