Snow bomb!! Cyclone-genesis!! A monster winter storm named Grayson. Kaboom! All hands on deck. Set to hit the New York area. Where Edward Grayson happens to be the Director of Cleaning and Collection. Yes. Who will win this monstrous challenge? Winter Storm Grayson. Or. Snowplow boss Grayson. Mano a mano. A coincidental combat for the ages! We’ll see.
Trump will tweet a lot
CableNews & NYT will freak out about it daily
So will certain friends & relatives
TTSD antidote will be mid-term elections
Societal polarization will vertically widen
Garbage trucks will wake us up
Streaming services will shutter most movie houses
Online shopping will render the end of malls
There will be a U.S. military action in North Korea
Luann will hook up with Harvey in rehab
Melania will be on Dancing With the Stars
Jon Stewart will replace Colbert
Tom Hanks & Meryl Streep will take a year off
Sam will reunite with real Jason
Tim Ryan (not Paul Ryan) will replace Pelosi
Tiger will win another major
Patriots will not win the Super Bowl
Tops will no longer have shoulder holes
Pets will develop allergies to humans
Alexa will do the dishes
House of Cards creator Beau Willimon’s Broadway debut The Parisian Woman falls flat. As edgy as Robin Wright is as Claire Underwood in the Netflix series, Uma Thurman as Chloe in this modern-day play is not. Thurman seems tentative in her portrayal of a supposedly scheming liberal in Trump’s Washington political landscape. Related jokes are few and dated. Characters are generally mis-cast even as the weak writing would test any actor. Blair Brown displays her professional chops and is the only standout.
On the plus side. The Hudson Theater has been brilliantly brought back to its 1903 glory. Hotel conference room sheetrock was torn down to reveal crown moldings and historic detail from Ethel Barrymore’s stage heyday. It reopened last year and is worth the visit.
Nine tourists searching for Strawberry Fields.
Eight nannies yacking on cell phones.
Seven kamikaze skateboarders.
Six clueless Citi-Bikers.
Five gritty horse-drawn carriage drivers.
Four scamming pedi-cabs.
Three rats a running.
Two turtles sunning.
And a pigeon under a ginko biloba tree.
Daily gaits. 2017.
No snow in sight. So far.
Tiger Woods is back on the links. Under par.
Dennis Rodman of Celebrity Apprentice fame. Mutual friend of our Portly President and North Korea’s Dumpy Despot. Could he broker a summit to thwart nuclear war? Just to be safe. Revert to 1950’s duck and cover under your desks. Or huddle in the nearest bomb shelter.