Making Assumptions

The candidate casino. $100 in chips today. How’d you bet? $35 Warren. $15 Biden. $10 Harris. $5 Booker. $5 Buttigieg. $5 Woo-Woo Williamson. $25 Somebody Who Can Win.

Scaramouche has had a come-to-Jeezus epiphany about our Petulant Adolescent President. Why? He’s looking to make a buck by convincing Nikki Haley or Mark Sanford to make a primary run at Trump.

FedEx Cup. That end of season golf thing. After an even more convoluted fan-phobic structure this year. Who will win? Who cares?

Mary’s teleportation to Heaven from Earth. No surprise there. She was still a virgin when she gave birth.

Scaramouche

Commedia dell’arte’s Scaramuccia. The skirmisher, a mainstay character in the Punch & Judy Italian puppet opera. Swashbuckling minstrel with Über Swagger. Donald’s newly appointed media leader. Anthony Scaramucci.  Unlike Spicey. Sartorially-savvy. Brioni suits. A compact Queens communicator. Better fits the role. Salesman by trade. Financier. Goldman Sachs to Skybridge. From the campaign to the transition. A loyal jester in the modern Game of Trump.

Can he pull off a miraculous messaging show?

See also: Scaramouche Fandango, Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen. John Kerry’s former yacht anchored off Naushon Island.