Keeping Up With the Trumps

Kardashians move over. It’s now The Trumps. Donald doing dick jokes at the debate. What do we expect with Cialis and Viagra commercials 24/7. We’re numbing down. Little Marco a perfect foil. Protesters at rallies a key part of the act. PGA playing at his Doral.

Current wife Melania on every channel prime time. Leggy beauty with gilted nouveau riche rooms in the background. Ex-wife Marla will be Dancing With the Stars. Daughter Ivanka ready to pop the next Trumpster grandbaby as she launches a new line of shoes. Son Eric tries to push Chris the Sidekick out of frame. It’s The Celebrity President Reality Show.

Bon weekend.

Cuban Sandwich Picadillo

It’s the Cubano Dos and El Trumpo now. Rubio. Cruz. The Cuban crusts. Tricky Ted’s dirty tactics and Nixonian sneer harken back to the Bebe Rebozo corruption days. Marco el Rubio, not really. He’s not blond. But, as his SuperPac says, he is like Harry Potter to Donald’s Voldemort. Well. Sort of. Young and impressionable yes. NeoCons’ new rube.

Then there’s all those slices of ham in the middle. With lots of cheesey drippings. Spicy sauce. And most of the votes.

Going to the Dogs

The Big Dog. Donald. As W. and Laura arrive to prop up Jebra’s languishing bid in South Carolina, appearing in the little box, Trump coincidentally holds a news conference on the big screen. Mika & Morning Joe will have El Trumpo at the same time Anderson Cooper hosts a Town Hall with Cruz and Rubio.

The Lap Dog. Marco Play-Doh. Republican Establishment’s favorite puppy.

Best in Show. Hillary. She makes it too easy. How did she not know that the talk shows would play clips of her many prevarications followed by barking dogs.

Westminster’s actual choice will be made tonight.