If we are all still here after Saturday, we can rejoice in the emergence of Mike Bloomberg’s Global Business Forum. The New York billionaire who should be President. Don’t blame me. I voted for him! Rational. Professional. Ethical. Brilliant. And. He really does have a macro economic vision. Unlike. Well. That other New York billionaire (ish).
Then. Find Conan O’Brien’s trip to Israel. On this Jewish New Year. An hilarious and heartbreaking synopsis of what a world at peace could be. Good people on both sides of the Wall. And beyond. Must see.
The “cone of uncertainty”. A newly minted weather phrase that promises unpredictability. With. No accountability. Will. The hurricane hit what city. Trump’s generals take us to war against North Korea’s “rocket man”. The stock market correct to pop the overvalued bubble. The NFL implode. Democrats and Republicans meld to disappear. The United Nations get swept into the East River. Yes. The world is in the path of an amorphous Category 5 cyclone.
Wiggy mad men. Not a theory. Crazy Kim’s trigger finger is poised over Guam. He just called Donald senile. That’s enough to make el loco Trumpo drop a bomb. If North Korea launches missiles toward our island military bases, all bets are off. Scary. Even the markets are afraid. A radical wag the dog. Not talking about Russia anymore are we? Keeping Mueller in the bunker. Danger! Danger! Duck and cover.
Trump meets Kim’s war of words with similar seventh grade slurs. Kim threatens North Korea will make “U.S. Pay”, missile strikes on Guam. Trump’s retort “Fire & Fury” the likes of which the world has never seen. However you characterize it in the sandbox, these childish threats could be no more than that. Unless an errant tweet is met with an incompetent translator. Then. Real bombs, missiles will fly. Too late to take it backsies.
Donald Badenov is back. From G20 vith Love. Finally met Putin in Person.
“Ring-a-ding-ding. Dis is some vild and crazy guy. Schving!! Playboy centerfold Melania charmed Vlad the Buff Vampire Slayer even better than Natasha could. Putin vill never be the same after she laughed at all his muscovian jokes. Ha ha! Who needs Vodka? Ve got along so good. Better than borscht. Don’t know vy everybody is so upset ve had another secret meeting vith no vitnesses. You vill all be sorry ven ve have negotiated the “Caviar Accord”. Peace and hotels all over the vorld. Get over it CNN. Dahz. Veedahnya.”
Le jour de gloire? Why did freshly minted President Emmanuel Macron of France invite Le Donald to be honored at Bastille Day? What is he up to? This guy seems a rogue in his own right. Is he setting up Trump for an awkward contretemps? Marchons. Nous voyons. It’ll be worth seeing what Melania will wear where Dior and Louboutins rule.
Is it just me or has Trump suddenly taken a liking to hiking in the woods at Camp David. Now talking about an Arab confab there to thwart terrorism. This the guy who prefers gold faucets and Toto toilets. 18 holes of pristine greens rather than a ratty old tee on a pine cone path. So. Why? Maybe because he watches House of Cards. Of course he does. President Frank Underwood endured a Bohemian Grove-esque weekend ‘men’s trip’ to unearth secrets and lies from the deep forest state around a camp fire to get a leg up.
Hmmm. Wonder when Don will buy a flannel shirt to match his squirrely hair.