Wig Guam

Wiggy mad men. Not a theory. Crazy Kim’s trigger finger is poised over Guam. He just called Donald senile. That’s enough to make el loco Trumpo drop a bomb. If North Korea launches missiles toward our island military bases, all bets are off. Scary. Even the markets are afraid. A radical wag the dog. Not talking about Russia anymore are we? Keeping Mueller in the bunker. Danger! Danger! Duck and cover.

Petulant Adolescent Taunts

Trump meets Kim’s war of words with similar seventh grade slurs. Kim threatens North Korea will make “U.S. Pay”, missile strikes on Guam. Trump’s retort “Fire & Fury” the likes of which the world has never seen. However you characterize it in the sandbox, these childish threats could be no more than that. Unless an errant tweet is met with an incompetent translator. Then. Real bombs, missiles will fly. Too late to take it backsies.

Donald Badenov II

Donald Badenov is back. From G20 vith Love. Finally met Putin in Person.

“Ring-a-ding-ding. Dis is some vild and crazy guy. Schving!! Playboy centerfold Melania charmed Vlad the Buff Vampire Slayer even better than Natasha could. Putin vill never be the same after she laughed at all his muscovian jokes. Ha ha! Who needs Vodka? Ve got along so good. Better than borscht. Don’t know vy everybody is so upset ve had another secret meeting vith no vitnesses. You vill all be sorry ven ve have negotiated the “Caviar Accord”. Peace and hotels all over the vorld. Get over it CNN. Dahz. Veedahnya.”

Trump Under Wood

Is it just me or has Trump suddenly taken a liking to hiking in the woods at Camp David. Now talking about an Arab confab there to thwart terrorism. This the guy who prefers gold faucets and Toto toilets. 18 holes of pristine greens rather than a ratty old tee on a pine cone path. So. Why? Maybe because he watches House of Cards. Of course he does. President Frank Underwood endured a Bohemian Grove-esque weekend ‘men’s trip’ to unearth secrets and lies from the deep forest state around a camp fire to get a leg up.

Hmmm. Wonder when Don will buy a flannel shirt to match his squirrely hair.

For Your Eyes Only

Today’s Washington Post story reads like an Ian Fleming spy novel. Replete with secret dossiers, clandestine situation room confabs, CIA envelopes for Obama’s eyes only. It’s a fascinating tale which if true makes the former President seem feckless in the face of an international incident perpetrated by Putin himself. Barack actually admitted telling Vlad to “Just stop that!” Wow. Sure that caused quakes in Blofeld’s mountaintop lair.

The bottom line remains. Actions and more importantly inactions were the result of underestimating Trump’s chances to win the election. And. Way overestimating Hillary’s certain landslide victory. A cascade of decisions fell from those miscalculations by the Obama White House, Clinton’s campaign, and a complicit press.

Le Poison Pen

Barbs and arrows are flying in France pre-election. It will be close. And Marine Le Pen could disrupt the EU beyond repair. She is set to write a chapter worthy of Les Liaisons Dangereuses. Exploiting her native land’s intrinsic jingoism. The most chauvinist of all European countries. Where nationalism has always been a way of life. As Brexit and Trumpxit have prevailed, Frexit could be the final blow to Yerp as we know it.