Big Day

It’s a very exciting day. No, not the Royal Wedding. Not the color underpants Kate is wearing under her classic gown. Not the beatification of John Paul II. Not Panthers picking Cam Newton. Not even Giffords watching hubby launch into penultimate Shuttle mission. No. It’s Jake Jake Jake’s first birthday. Happy Birthday Jake Jordan.

Game On

The Prez just called Donald Trump a ‘Carnival Barker’. Released birth certificate. En route to see Oprah today, just sayin’. Wedding on the back burner. Finally. Right, Jack?  Then Prez & Co. off to NY for fundraisers on Upper East Side, Secret Service barred Alicat from her boy. Not right.

AmerIdol judges, are they watching the same show we are? Carole King. Yawwwn.

Lon Done

Wish I were there. Sunny. Wouldn’t have to endure incessant wedding watch. They don’t care. It’d be different if Helena Bonham Carter, Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush were actual characters in the tale. Liz, Phil, Charlie, Cam not so much. Kate is cute okay. But, she’s been living with Princey for like six years. Why the fuss? Give me a good Philippa Gregory story any day. Guess it beats B-list celebs behaving badly. Libya, Syria. But, 4 more days?! To Jake’s first birthday.

Silly Plasty

Joan had a long date with a plastic dummy last night. No, not you Dr. Serta. Ricky Gervais thanks God for making him an atheist. Snorin’ Joe, say it ain’t so, speech wasn’t that bad. Veep snoozin’ better than air traffic controller. Will the Donald’s ‘looney’ play in Peoria? Jack read my comment last night.

I don’t recognize most celebs these daze. They all have the same face, nose, lips, chin, boobs. With rare exception, they look better in the ‘before’ photos. The Real Housewives of Stepford.  JLo is the most naturally gorgeous. I know Joey3, you don’t dig. Budget debate, Atlas shrugged? see SideBizness.

Mad World

Crazy Masters Sunday. Rory’s wreckage gave way to divine intervention for Schwartzel’s chips, abetted by Tiger’s timidity on the greens. Aussies acquitted themselves admirably at Augusta. Youth displayed character and class. Best thing about Masters coverage, no creepy commercials with old couples in bath tubs.

Speaking of Masters’ sponsors, loved Ogilvy & Mather’s new IBM campaign. Can they resurrect the Gap brand as well? MadBen’s new MadMen team.