Holiday Letter 2015

Happy Kwanzaakah All,

Yes. It’s us again. The Bidrights. Here to regale you with our wonderment in 2015. We are enjoying our new town so much. Although people aren’t very friendly. They keep to themselves. I understand we are known as the moonbat Mulchkins in the ‘hood because of my lust for mulch instead of grass. Zelda remains very anti-wood. Her arborcidal mania has left no tree behind. The yard is now like a desert. We are living our own mirage.

Two new pedigree pigs and Meph the Cat are constantly pooping in the front pen, but Zelda loves picking up all their crap in her purple bathrobe at dawn. And she adores the fresh air, hanging her elderly underpants on the clothes line for all to admire. Moonbeam gets a little embarrassed when he comes home early from work at the marijuana clinic to find us canoodling on our hammock in front of the neighbors’ big bay window. I’m sure they are jealous of our devotion. And. We just built a little stone patio that drops into a water hole. Hope the little toddlers don’t wander in. Oh well. WeExist. Our lives matter.

Until next year! People next door are outta here.

The Bidrights
Pronounced H, Massachusetts

P.S. Our holiday letters past.