Holiday Letter 2012

Chers Faux Amis,

Another year of living and giving. Gosh. So busy. Zelda and I completed six self-help seminars. Our sex life and relationship always open to group scrutiny for the common good. Little Moonbeam is now quite the young man. He is working for a secret non-profit dedicated to raising money for forgotten tribes on remote Pacific islands. So caring. Clever, too. Tax-free trips to paradise.

We’ve joined a new religion. Mayanastroism. If the world doesn’t end, we are screwed. Of course, we have eschewed cyber-consumerism. This yuletide, knitting scarves and brewing birch-branch tea for Sandy victims. So rewarding. Holly-branch houses to give to the kids. Best to wear gloves, little ones!

The economy has improved in our enchanted enclave. We’ve been able to replace the canoe and are building a new boathouse on the Connecticut funded by the community, needless to say. Mephistopheles, our elderly tabby, continues to terrorize little creatures much to our delight. Take off your clothes, and join us at the Capitol protest. Fresh air and naked Pilates, please. Stretch! Stretch! Stretch!

Peace and love until…

The Bidrights
Silent H, Massachusetts

6 Replies to “Holiday Letter 2012”

  1. BL’s response to last year’s letter:

    December 2011

    “Dear Friends:
    It may be twenty years since we last saw you but we think of you often and remember the good times we all had living in the commune before the sheriff chased us off the property. Must admit that I just hated digging those latrines in the woods.

    So little Moonbeam is all grown up now! I remember how he used to love to sit and braid the ladies’ hair. What a handy little fellow.

    After leaving the commune we settled in a small college town where alot of “our kind” of people live. We raise pretty green plants on our property. We dry the leaves and pulverize them and add them, for an extra little kick, to the brownies and cupcakes that we bake. The customers love them and business is good.

    One sad note. We had to put ole Granny into the county home. We had suspected that all was not quite right with her when she insisted on walking around naked but things really hit the fan when she walked into a meeting of the Presbyterian Women’s Bible Study Group wearing nothing but her Depends and a scarf around her head. The women were really upset so we had to take action. Granny is very happy in her new abode. She has three meals a day and ice cream every afternoon.

    Life goes on and we are all well. We look forward to your letter of 2012.”

    Note: BL is herself 86 years old.


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